Okay so we will start from the beginning and mine starts here.
I am doing this because I want y’all to get to know who i am & what made me who i am. I wont add every detail but i will put the very important stuff. I hope that somebody reads my story and gets something out of it.
Being pregnant at the age of 15 was not in my agenda i had just moved schools and made new friends the year before. I was a Sophomore when i became pregnant it was towards the end of that year. I already knew i was i was just trying to make myself believe that i wasn’t and that i was just super late! I took a pregnancy test and not even a minute later i saw the little plus sign! So many things were running trough my head at that time. My sons dad was there while i took and he looked like he didn’t know what to think or say. We both knew that the life that we knew was long gone. At first only his mom knew i was so scared to tell my parents. A little side note my mom and dad gave me everything they would buy me anything i wanted i am the only girl they have so they did everything for their only girl. I can admit that i was a spoiled little girl and that sometimes i didn’t appreciate them like i should. Back to the story telling my mom was really difficult he actually told her all he said was “Miriam is pregnant” her response was “I am not telling your dad you are” She was heartbroken i know she was but at that time me being 15 and thinking that i ruled the world i really didn’t care for her feelings. I actually told her i was moving out! My mom then said “if you walk out that door you won’t ever be allowed back” So yeah i stayed home not before telling her that i disliked her. School continued i told my friends the news us being teenagers we only saw the clothes and the cute little baby things we didn’t see what actually comes with a baby (important things not the material stuff) My friends remained my friends but i couldn’t do what they did. I walked around the school with my big belly and people would just stare i wasn’t the only pregnant student oh no sir i wasn’t! There was a couple of other girls who had also gotten pregnant during the school year.
Then summer vacations came this was the time when i was always with my sons father this is when everything fell apart (it was just the beginning) He would always break up with me it was an every month thing. At the time he wanted me to move in but i didn’t because my mom told me that it wouldn’t work out. He thought i listened to my mom too much and that would get him angry. I guess he thought he was the boss now. Summer for me consisted of getting everything ready for Noah. This is when my girly room because his room every inch of my room was no longer mine. I was so overwhelmed i told my mom “i don’t want his stuff in my closet where will my clothes go!” and i remember what she told me vividly “This is what happens when you do things that you have no business doing, do you want me to put them in my room? because that isn’t happening this is your baby therefor it belongs in your room.” She was right my life was no longer just my life it was Noahs life! Everything i did would have to be thought over not just to make sure i wanted it but because every choice i made will somehow effect Noah.
Summer was over and my relationship with his dad was just going down the drain. I only went back to school for the first day because later that day my doctor said my blood pressure was too high and needed to be home resting.
I went to the hospital on August 27 because amniotic fluid was leaking yeah scary nobody ever told me that could happen. I was in labor for a long time and all this time his dad was just sitting there listening to music. I had to get an emergency c-section because i was not progressing. I gave birth to Noah on August 28,2008 he was 8 pounds 7.8 oz big baby i know. I stayed in the hospital for three days and not once did my dad stop by my mom was there everyday helping me get up and bathing. I was in so much pain.
When we got discharged we went to my moms house and she was the only one helping she would bring me food and help me get up to go to the restroom and shower. His dad was there but he was never really hands on.
Fast forward to when Noah was almost a year his dad ended up breaking up with me and dating some other girl who was not a mom. I was really heartbroken and it took me a while to get back on my feet. I graduated with honors on June 2010 i did it all with my son and i am so proud of myself. His father sees him every other weekend but we don’t speak at all.
From all this i have learned that once you decide to bring another human being into this world you better be prepared for your life to do a complete 360! I don’t regret my son he has made me who i am today. I always say that we grew up together because we did. He thought me so many things. He thought me how to love and how to smile again. He was and still is my motivation to keep going, I also learned that people aren’t really who they say they are because during that whole relationship i was blinded and i did everything and anything to keep it alive. I lowered myself so many times to make it work. I blamed myself for things that weren’t my fault. It broke me down but i met God He got me out of that dark and deep hole i was in. I believe that when somebody goes trough something very negative something positive and beautiful comes out of it and i can truly say that in my case it worked out. I became closer to my mom, my son became my best friend and I met God and trusted Him with everything.